Want To Buy A Joke?

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A writer from The Onion is selling one on eBay.

No, seriously…

My name is John Harris, and I am a staff writer at The Onion, America’s Finest News Source. I am selling a joke that I can’t find a contextual home for. To be fair, it’s less of a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper’s Index. If that didn’t make you barf, please continue reading.

The item in question will be clearly hand-printed on a 3×5 index card and mailed to the winning bidder upon receipt of payment. It has never been used, and the buyer assumes all responsibility for any consequences that might stem from sharing this joke, including the dissolution of friendships and romantic relationships due to loss of respect. The bidding will start at $0.57 so I can at least recoup the cost of the stamp and the eBay listing charge.

The bidding is now at $51. A bit steep, but if you want to get a loved one a very unique b-day gift, this would be it.

Bidding is over on Jan 5th.