Hot Metal Chick Learns Other Hot Metal Chicks On Style

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Dumber than a dead dog

I know a particular girl whose name starts with “Z” who is going to go fucking off about this. And that’s why I am posting it. Today, over at MetalSucks, I noticed a video of what — at first glance — appeared to be a hot chick. At second glance, she’s more like a skinny Amy Lee with extensions. Either way, I’d stick her like a pig.

I happen to know that some hot chicks do this: They watch instructional videos on how to do their hair and makeup and shit. I’ve seen my neighbor do it a ton of times. Chicks make videos giving each other advice on how to be hotter. Tell me this isn’t a man’s world — I dare you!

In the video below, you can watch this busty young lass turn and jiggle and talk a lot. She reminds me of a girl I dated after college who never shut the fuck up. The girl is rocking a Suffocation shirt, and discusses the importance of wearing shirts of bands you “know and like.” This, from MetalSucks: “Do we think she really digs death metal, or do we think she just realized that her value in the metal world is like a gajillion times higher than her value in the mainstream world, given that metal is a total sausage fest and dudes will kill one another for anything with a hole and a pulse? (Actually the pulse is just, like, a bonus.)” Couldn’t have said it better. But I’ll try.

This vapid piece of box is basically the reason why there are no super smoking hot broads at metal shows: Super hot chicks don’t need to use their brains. They focus all of their energies on their looks, and coast through life on the shapeliness of their ass and utters. Hence, they never develop anything more than a brain stem with a piece of grease-covered gristle stuck to it. Metal is the kind of music you need something of a pensive mind to appreciate; this chick only goes to shows to suck off metal musicians in the bathroom or because her metal-loving boyfriend takes her. And he likes Suffocation so she likes Suffocation.

I’m curious as to how many dudes will beat off to this video. I remember a time when I could beat off to something like this: I was 9. It would take serious effort to rub one out to this clip nowadays, what with the abundance of teen anal porn out there. She’s still hot, and baby — if you’re ever in New York, look me up. I’ll teach you more about Suffocation…you suffocating on my wang, OH!