Music

Slash No Longer Wants New Pussy

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Slash and his lady

Yep, that’s right. Even though new pussy will make you cry, the top-hatted one — former Guns N’ Roses guitarist Slash — has asked a court to withdraw his divorce filing…just two months after the news first leaked that he had filed for divorce from his wife of nine years, Perla.

TMZ.com claims that Slash has filed a request for dismissal in Los Angeles Superior Court. The original filing cited “irreconcilable differences.” Guess they weren’t so irreconcilable. Slash even hired a high-profile attorney, who helped Britney Spears separate from that fucking white trash dude named Kevin Federline.

Recently, the couple were caught by paparazzi together, in the airport, returning from a “fantastic and much-needed vacation.” I think something wild happened on that vacation.

I bet you Perla pulled out all the stops. She was eating ass, she was fucking Slash’s brains out day and night, taking his whole wang down her gullet whilst simultaneously slobbering those balls…and I think Slash realized that he’s got a good thing going. Either that, or she’s got gay photos of him and threatened to release them.