Rejected! Mike Portnoy Tried To Rejoin Dream Theater

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Mike Portnoy

This is awesome. I knew that in time, Mike Portnoy would try to get back with Dream Theater, and I knew they’d be all, “Fuck you dude, go fly a kite!” I just knew it would happen. And now that Mike is also Avenged Sevenfold’s former drummer, Mike tried to crawl back to his old band.

“Just for the record, this is indeed true…Fairly recently, I reached out to the guys to try and make amends and offered to reconcile for the sake of having peace back in our lives…(plus I know how much it meant to a lot of the fans…),” Portnoy writes online. “I figured it was still possible to try and save us, because they hadn’t made any announcements yet or begun any public activity with another drummer…but sadly, they declined my offer (well, actually their lawyer did…they didn’t even tell me themselves…)”

Oh man…as if they owe you anything. Their lawyers shot Mike down. Ouch! I guess Portnoy’s never going to be in Dream Theater again. I still question why he left to begin with…something tells me that he had the Avenged gig beyond 2011 until he started spouting off about his departure like a little girl, and starting that shit with James LaBrie.

“Sorry, gang, I honestly gave it my all,” he writes. “So now the fans on my Twitter and Facebook can please stop asking me to go back to Dream Theater… I tried, and the door is now shut…The ball is now in their court, not mine. I’m not crying or looking for mercy by posting this. I am merely trying to set the record straight as that is always the most important thing about my relationship with you guys. No BS, no spins, nothing to hide — and for better or for worse, I tell it like it is. I’ve also recently seen some people accuse my online activity of ‘looking for attention or media coverage,’ or ‘looking for sympathy,’ but it’s honestly none of the above. I merely value having an open and active communication with my fans. Always have, always will. It is the cornerstone of everything I’ve done since day #1 with Dream Theater.”

Mike adds that he’s “got a lot of great music and ideas waiting to come out of me and a lot of exciting collaborations in the works…so goodbye 2010…bring on 2011!”

Amen, Mike. It still hilarious that you went back to Dream Theater, like a husband who had an affair with a younger chick from his office who finally realized she was turned off by gray pubes, and dumped his ass.