Former Bury Your Dead Guitarist On Trial

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This dude's gangsta

Kudos to Lambgoat for catching this one. I guess someone must have Google news alerts set up for lameness.

Former Bury Your Dead guitarist Eric Ellis is currently on trial in Florida for being an associate in a “fledgling” Jacksonville gang; that’s fucking hilarious. Or is it pathetic? I vote “Both.”

The 27-year-old Ellis was originally charged with violating federal racketeering laws in early 2011.

Ellis and his fellow defendant Maynard Godwin — the alleged boss of the so-called gang — were part of “a group of violent robbers and drug dealers who terrorized residents in home invasions from Ponte Vedra Beach to Beauclerc, robbed banks and beat people.”

Damn, son. That’s some ghetto fabulous shit going on there.

Ellis’ crimes, including a home invasion duing which a woman was tied up at gunpoint, mostly took place in 2009 — a year after he left the band; he spent four years with Bury Your Dead. I hope he ends up behind bars for a long-ass time, and that his much-larger cell mate has an insatiable sexual appetite. And a huge donger that’ll help Ellis lose his gag reflex.

Billy Hesson, a former member of the gang and a witness for the prosecution, testified that he, Godwin and Godwin’s brother were watching the TV show “Sons of Anarchy” one night when Godwin expressed an interest in starting his own gang. That is so fucking funny.

Four other defendants linked to related crimes have already pleaded guilty. The trial, which commenced in a Jacksonville federal court on Thursday, will run four weeks.