Secret Service Doesn’t Book Nugent; Situation “Resolved”

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Ted Nugent

Sounds like someone put the scare in Ted Nugent.

The ignorant hick tells CNN that his visit with the U.S. Secret Service went well, and that the issue — of him basically threatening the president — has been “resolved.”

“The issue has been resolved,” and the agency “does not anticipate any further action,” Secret Service spokesman Brian Leary told CNN after meeting with the hunt-happy douche.

Earlier Thursday, Nugent — who was in Ardmore, Oklahoma for a performance — issued a statement of his own, writing, “I met with two fine, professional Secret Service agents. Good, solid, professional meeting concluding that I have never made any threats of violence towards anyone.”

Ted says “the meeting could not have gone better. I thanked them for their service, we shook hands and went about our business. God bless the good federal agents wherever they may be.”

This is not cool. Guys like Ted Nugent will run their fucking yaps until there is some sort of consequence.

Just wait. I betcha Ted says something asinine soon enough. Maybe he’ll say something stupid about the head of an extremist group, and there will be a bounty put on his red neck.

Ted’s statement concludes: “By no stretch of the imagination did I threaten anyone’s life, or hint at violence or mayhem. Metaphors needn’t be explained to educated people.”

You dumb fuck. Ted Nugent is everything that’s wrong with humanity.