Music

Warped Tour: The Most Metal Tour Ever, Possibly

By  | 

Black Veil Brides

The most metal tour on the motherloving planet just got fucking ten times more metal!

First, the Black Dahlia Murder signed on last month, and I complained (and still stand by what I said) that the tour didn’t meet the high metal standards of onetime GSA columnist Trevor Strnad.

Now, they’ve added the likes of Bring Me The Horizon, Black Veil Brides and 3OH!3 to the mix, making this easily the heaviest tour ever assembled. Ever.

The tour also added black metal outfit August Burns Red, death metallers Never Shout Never, and grindcore band Bowling For Soup.

Add this to the already brutal lineup of such praised metal acts as Hawthorne Heights, Goldfinger, Big D And The Kids Table, Motion City Soundtrack, Reel Big Fish, Woe, Is Me, Like Moths To Flames and Sleeping With Sirens and…well, I can see why Trevor couldn’t resist the opportunity.

Metal — it’s what’s for sale.

Now, pardon me while I go dig my fucking car out.