Shocker: Metalheads More Depressed

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She makes me depressed

I could have told you that.

I am the fucking epitome of depression. I’m miserable, but good fuck, do I love metal.

Now, someone’s gone and wasted money on a study about music and depression, and the findings are jaw-dropping.

Researchers have found that “significantly higher levels of anxiety and depression” exists “among listeners of heavy metal/hard rock music, as compared with non-listeners.”

A sample of 551 college students was assessed on music preference and on symptoms of depression, anxiety, and trait anger.

A whopping 57 percent of the participants in the study, which was conducted by psychologists Gavin Ryan Shafron of Columbia University and Mitchell Karno of the University Of California-Los Angeles, described themselves as heavy metal listeners.

The high rate of preference was attributed to the geographic location of the data-collection site, being proximal to where modern heavy metal subgenres are popular.

Whatever the fuck that means.

Participants were asked to disclose their preference for various heavy metal sub-genres, including emo, hardcore punk, death metal, and thrash metal. These more recent offshoots to classic heavy metal “have dark overtones and often use graphic lyrics that express angry, depressed, or painted emotions, in combination with screams, groans, and particularly dense and/or particularly syncopated rhythms,” the researchers wrote.

Researchers hypothesized that participants who listen to heavy metal music would report higher levels of depression, anxiety, and trait anger as compared with participants who do not listen to heavy metal music.

Fans of hardcore scored significantly higher than the others on anger, anxiety, and depression, with depression also scoring high among emo fans. Researchers also found that anxiety was elevated among listeners of emo, screamo, and classic heavy metal.

This study’s just full of genius insights.

I will tell you why we’re more depressed and anxious — we think.

We’re not airheaded fucking pop fans who walk around the world, lying to themselves that everything’s “OK.”

We’re aware. We’re awake. And we’re fucking disheartened by what we see.